the proctology news update - Printable Version +- Mock (https://mockforums.net) +-- Forum: Serious Shit? (https://mockforums.net/forum-4.html) +--- Forum: Assholes In The News (https://mockforums.net/forum-10.html) +--- Thread: the proctology news update (/thread-4634.html) |
the proctology news update - Lady Cop - 01-06-2011 HUG YOUR LOCAL PROCTOLOGIST TODAY. OK~ this IS the asshole forum----> Discover Magazine “A 52-year-old woman with a history of depression was referred by her primary physician for colorectal cancer screening. She had no family history of colorectal cancer and a review of systems was positive for abdominal bloating. Bowel preparation was done using 4 L of polyethylene glycol the evening prior to screening colonoscopy. The procedure was uncomplicated with no gross mucosal pathology, however, an insect was found in the transverse colon. The insect was aspirated and sent to the lab for further identification. The insect had three body segments (head, thorax, and abdomen) with ventrodorsal flattening of the body and a segmented abdomen, three pairs of legs extending from the thorax (with spikes and claw-like terminal appendages), elongated hind legs, and a pair of elongated antennae extending from the head to beyond the hind legs.These morphologic findings were most consistent with the nymph form of Blattella germanica (German cockroach) of the Blattellidae family, a common household pest. The patient had a cockroach infestation at home and hence it was hypothesized that she may have inadvertently ingested a cockroach with food.” OR IT CRAWLED UP HER ARSE. click for larger view inside the woman's cockroach-infested bowel---> RE: the proctology update - Luke Warmwater - 01-06-2011 evidently likes cock up the ass... RE: the proctology news update - Duchess - 01-06-2011 RE: the proctology news update - Cracker - 01-06-2011 This may be a totally stupid question, but, how come she didn't poop it out? You people swore to me that stuff doesn't stay in your colon... RE: the proctology news update - Lady Cop - 01-06-2011 (01-06-2011, 07:02 PM)Cracker Wrote: This may be a totally stupid question, but, how come she didn't poop it out? You people swore to me that stuff doesn't stay in your colon... a very thorough job of cleaning out is done prior to colonoscopy, so all i can think of is that cockroach had a death-grip on her intestinal lining similar to hillary clinton's bleeding fingernails being embedded into the oval office curtains and grasping for dear life when bill was being impeached... nooooooooooooooo i won't go!!! RE: the proctology news update - QueenBee - 01-06-2011 Gives whole new meaning to someone having a bug up their ass about something. RE: the proctology news update - username - 01-06-2011 (01-06-2011, 07:02 PM)Cracker Wrote: This may be a totally stupid question, but, how come she didn't poop it out? You people swore to me that stuff doesn't stay in your colon... Damn. So despite all your cleansing you too could have a cockroach living in your ass. RE: the proctology news update - Cracker - 01-06-2011 I know a little about the environmental sciences so I don't spray pesticides in my house, but I would if I saw an effen roach in here. I can't stand bugs. I mop with borax in my mop water every month to make sure I will never have a cockroach lodged in my colon. All you people who laugh at me for doing a colon cleanse once every month of two can kiss my bug-free ass! RE: the proctology news update - aknow - 01-11-2011 I thought you were going to say it was her husband up her ass. 4 times I've seen or removed a large roach from an Asian or Far Eastern patient, each took up residence in the ear as a nymph or juvenile, then as it grew and consumed copious amounts of wax, proteins, and whatever other nasty microbes your ears harbor.......We'd spray flouromethane to freeze the insect, then remove it with forceps.......Amazing how much space they can occupy in there, and the moral to the story is "Keep your house clean, and don't sleep on the floor" When I had a med lab in So. Lake Tahoe, Ca., in the late 1970's, one of the MD's sent a patient over suffering from abdominal bloating and anemia. When we saw the bloodwork, we knew the guy was sick. When he showed up in the waiting room, he exhibited an unusual tic or repetitive sinus/facial movement. I asked him to lean back, and put a light in his upper palate, then up his nose, and I saw it. I removed a four foot tapeworm, after I made him drink some magnesium compound to irritate the nematode, and get it to relax it's scolex, (pincers), Then like a piece of black spaghetti, I wrapped it around one, then another hemostat. I still want to vomit when I remember that experience. RE: the proctology news update - Cracker - 01-11-2011 I feel badly for doctors when I look around the waiting rooms. Especially gynos. |