Mock news at 5 , Sunday Aug 10 , 2008

[F.U.]

~[ Insert sound of typewriter franticly typing away] ~

Hello , and welcome to yourweekly edition of,
the Sunday 5 pm CST Mock news .
Where its the news that matters , Notthe grammar.

At our NEW location , in the
Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum .

This is your News anchor Mr Pumpkin Ass reporting the Mock news , sports and weather .
Reporting on the stories that I want . The way I want .




Here are your stories that made the headlines this week .

Please hold your comments until the end of our programing .

Our first story comes to us from the Assholes in the news section of our forum .
The thread is titled ... DECAPITATION . And comes to us from our very own Duchess .
This thread was started on Fri 01 Aug 2008 . And is the tale of a Toronto nut case that decided it was a good time to stab to death , decapitate and devour pieces of a fellow bus rider .
This thread is full of shoulda , coulda , woulda done this or that - if I was there .
While some people like Mr Maggot feel they would have attacked the perpetrator . Mr Maggot posts ...I have a hard time with the fact that nobody tried to throw a hot coffee at him or tried to hit him with a Fucking purse or something! WTF I could not just stand there and watch.
Others like Oversized Poophole would have resorted to there usual scared school girl antics and simply stood by and watch or hide there girly little heads .
Mr Poophole writes ...When it comes to fight or flight, flight is generally the most sensible option 99% of the time.
So no matter what side of the fence you stand on , this 7 page thread has something in it for you.





Our next story comes to us from the Discussions , Opinions & Debate section of our forum .
This thread is entitled ... Grilling onions .
Our fearless leader the flaming Middle Finger starts us off with a tasty tale of his evenings meal .
However his inability to keep his onion firm has him asking for tips . But never fear , Members from around the world chime in with suggestions for Mr M.F. .
So check it out . But prepare to feel hungry when you do .
Great tips everyone .







Next we hear the tale of a man and his pillow . It was Wed Aug 6^th, 2008 09:38 am . In a thread he himself started in the Honest Therapy section of our forum .Where M F told the tale of his love of the common pillow .
I went from having and needing one pillow before I got married to NEEDING 5 fucking pillows. Said M F . Declaring his growing love for his pillow .
However , while his love grows so does his fears . M F is very aware of the risks of sleeping with that many unprotected pillows at one time . In fact his starting this thread was a cry for help in itself . And I quote ... I need help ... I know this. That's why I posted about it in this forum...
So please do your part in lending a hand . Andsupportfor our fearless leader in his time of need . Help free him from his MPPPP [ male pillow pillow pillow pillow ] bedroom activates . We can get him through this together people . TOGETHER !
Now I have ben told that extreme times require extreme measures . Soooooo M F I hope you don't mind but I took thelibertytocontact your family . Now they love you M F and theyonly want what's best for you .So your brothervolunteered tocome heretodayand say a few words to you .

Bruno please show Index/Pinky Finger the way in .

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