EAT ME!

[sally]

Sally is like a Banana. Nicely curved and no matter how you feel, always nice to have one.
HotD is like ripe Grapes. Once you start, you can't stop eating. If you leave her lying around a bit, can become intoxicating and no doubt better with age. Until she ends up corked.
Tikki is like Kiwi. Could be sour on first bite but surprisingly refreshing, packed with vitamins and with that mysterious exotic touch. Sometimes mistaken for a small, fluffy bird.
User is like Strawberries. Best consumed in front of a fireplace with champagne and covered in whipped cream. And warm melted chocolate perhaps.
Aussie is like an Apple. You might be looking for different fruit, but always end up with Apples. A sure bet.
Fahqtoo is like a Pear. Juicy, delicious, with a crunchy yet soft and strangely addictive bite.
Duchess is a ripe Peach. Everybody wants to dig their teeth into ripe peaches and enjoys the feeling of their tasty juice run down their cheeks. They taste like sunshine.
The boys around here are like roasted nuts. Comforting and rustic with a nice crunch.
I'm the sugar syrup with a touch of Rum. Sweet with the slightest hint of kick.

You add it all up and you get one hell of an excellent and colorful fruit salad.

You forgot to add Ramsey to the fruit salad. It was probably for the best though since she is like a Durian, AKA Malaysian stink fruit.

Most people think she stinks and don't like her at first, some people never like her and some people don't even know what the hell she is. But just like the durian some people absolutely love her and can look past her hair which resembles a formidable thorn-covered husk.