Tales from the Frontline: Online Dating

[Piglet]

This is about as close as youll ever get to knocking a round off chang, its a Brummie way of describing sex which i find amusing and as couarse as it gets. My next date would be the Duchess, im sure she would turn up wearing a baseball cap, a t shirt with Mickey Mouse on it, and jeans, possibly wearing boots.

Doomed from the start as im a republican and she a democrat. My english accent would win her over in a second, and if it didnt, quoting poetry would

Is i see in my soul the citron breasted fair one
Still gold tinted, her face like our night stars
Drawing unto her, her body beaten about with a flame
Wounded by the flaring spear of love
My first of all of her fresh years
Then is my heart buried alive in snow

We being one soul, your hand on my hair,
The burning memory rounding your near lips,
I have seen the priestesses of Rati make love at moon fall
And then in a carpeted hall, with a bright gold lamp
Lie down carelessly anywhere to sleep.

If that dont get her champing at the bit i dont know what will. This is the difference between a sophisticated Europe and your ordinary Joes. And the Duchess wont know where to put herself. You can take the woman out of Baltimore, but you cant take Baltimore out of the woman.

We would be doomed, and in that, like in Romeo and Juliet, love would be the greatest.