+- Mock (https://mockforums.net)
+-- Forum: Management and Newbie Bullshit (https://mockforums.net/forum-3.html)
+--- Forum: Introductions (https://mockforums.net/forum-9.html)
+--- Thread: I like to open with a joke. (/thread-11183.html)
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Donovan - 05-31-2014
When I met my last blind date I told her "you're an '8'."
She was pissed.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Donovan - 05-31-2014
(05-30-2014, 09:32 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:(05-30-2014, 01:38 PM)Maggot Wrote: It wont take long did it? The male rabbit said.
Did what? The female rabbit snapped.
I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.
Anyway, I'm not in the mood for a pun either. But, I'll pull a corny joke outta my hat (ass) for you.
A rabbit hopped upon a vegetable stand and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender answered, "No!"
The next day, the rabbit hopped on back there again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender replied "No!"
The following day, the rabbit went back and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender shouted, "No! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the post by your ears!"
Early the next morning the pesky rabbit went back and asked, " Got any nails?" The seller answered, "No!" To which, the rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"
I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off. But, I don't really know if he ended up snacking on carrots or if he was instead hammered in the head and found himself in a stew.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - HairOfTheDog - 05-31-2014
(05-31-2014, 05:26 AM)Cutz Wrote:(05-30-2014, 09:32 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.A man wrote ten puns to mail in to a pun contest, hoping at least one would win.
...
I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
You're sharp Cutz, you got the point.
I'd guess less than 20% of people would get it straight off, but that's based only on limited personal experience.
I once went camping with a group of 25 individuals. I hopped from tent to tent telling the same corny joke and ending with my thoughts about the rabbit's possible fates. Few got my point quickly; one about per six tents.
Puns it is -- persistence pays off. Though, I'd probably have started playing your game earlier if you'd simply aprized me from the start (the gift of immediate gratification, and all)...
RE: I like to open with a joke. - HairOfTheDog - 05-31-2014
(05-31-2014, 08:34 AM)Donovan Wrote:
That's duck stole my rabbit's M.O.! I wanted to let the air outta that annoying, trolling, painfully persistent rubber ducky about 30 seconds into the video, but watched the whole damned clip.
Little bastard never did grow on me.
On the bright side, by the end of it I was wishing the grape hound would go jump in a lake! Close enough...
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Cutz - 06-01-2014
Did you hear about the guy that got his entire left half of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Blindgreed1 - 06-02-2014
(05-29-2014, 09:34 PM)Maggot Wrote:He juggles hairy meatballs on his chin(05-29-2014, 05:52 PM)Chelloveks Wrote: Ahhhhhhhhhhshaddddddaaaapppppppppp
That's very Phil Silvers or something skevollehC Chelloveks. Can you juggle? Besides this is that other idiots thread. It sucks being alone but we can deal with your loneliness just stick your neck out and click those heels.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Blindgreed1 - 06-02-2014
(05-31-2014, 09:24 AM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:Cutz is a good dude. He gets the Gunnar seal of approval.(05-31-2014, 05:26 AM)Cutz Wrote:(05-30-2014, 09:32 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.A man wrote ten puns to mail in to a pun contest, hoping at least one would win.
...
I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
You're sharp Cutz, you got the point.
I'd guess less than 20% of people would get it straight off, but that's based only on limited personal experience.
I once went camping with a group of 25 individuals. I hopped from tent to tent telling the same corny joke and ending with my thoughts about the rabbit's possible fates. Few got my point quickly; one about per six tents.
Puns it is -- persistence pays off. Though, I'd probably have started playing your game earlier if you'd simply aprized me from the start (the gift of immediate gratification, and all)...
RE: I like to open with a joke. - HairOfTheDog - 06-02-2014
I see. Maybe Cutz will appreciate your positive testimonial, Gunnar.
I didn't have any reason to suspect that he's not a good dude anyway, though the pun fixation might be a bit odd.
We've all got our fetishes though, right? I'd tell you about my intense attraction to all things politically conservative, but I'd have nothing left.
corniness is contagious.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Blindgreed1 - 06-02-2014
(06-02-2014, 02:49 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I see. Maybe Cutz will appreciate your positive testimonial, Gunnar.
I didn't have any reason to suspect that he's not a good dude anyway, though the pun fixation might be a bit odd.
We've all got our fetishes though, right? I'd tell you about my intense attraction to all things politically conservative, but I'd have nothing left.
You are made of win HOTD.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Cutz - 06-02-2014
Why did the scarecrow get Employee of the Month?
Because he was out standing in his field.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - HairOfTheDog - 06-02-2014
(06-02-2014, 07:47 PM)Cutz Wrote: Why did the scarecrow get Employee of the Month?
Because he was out standing in his field.
Cutz, being as your puns aren't originals, I'm guessing your last name is Andpastes.
So, I'm not spending any more minutes coming up with my own corny puns and word plays -- once a pun a time I might have for a short while, but no longer...
(That was the last damned one!
)
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Cutz - 06-02-2014
I didn't say it was an original pun thread. You're welcome to continue your ingenious puns tho. All puns are welcome.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - HairOfTheDog - 06-02-2014
(06-02-2014, 08:15 PM)Cutz Wrote: I didn't say it was an original pun thread. You're welcome to continue your ingenious puns tho. All puns are welcome.
I didn't suggest or think that you'd been misleading.
I just thought you were making them up at first, but remember hearing the last two way back when.
Anyway, no matter. Carry on -- I'll conserve those rare moments of ingenuity for other lands.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - crash - 06-02-2014
Dog gone, no more punnish meant?
RE: I like to open with a joke. - HairOfTheDog - 06-02-2014
(06-02-2014, 08:51 PM)crash Wrote: Dog gone, no more punnish meant?
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Cutz - 06-06-2014
How do Mexicans cut their pizza?
With Little Ceasers.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Maggot - 06-06-2014
Did you hear about the 3 cats that drowned in France?
un,deux,trois guatre cing............
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Cutz - 06-08-2014
What do you call it when you cross-pollinate a Maple, an Oak, and a Sycamore?
A treesome.
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Cutz - 06-19-2014
I bought Nike's from a drug dealer.
...
I don't know what he laced them with... but I've been tripping all day!
RE: I like to open with a joke. - Baldawgbites - 06-21-2014
(06-19-2014, 10:43 PM)Cutz Wrote: I bought Nike's from a drug dealer.
...
I don't know what he laced them with... but I've been tripping all day!
It seems you're tripping now.
