(09-21-2012, 04:00 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 03:53 PM)Duchess Wrote:

Jim, did you buy a cow?

I remember being out at the farm a few years back, and the ONLY thing standing between a 1,000LB bull and me, was this thin little piece of wire.

Thank God he knew what'd happen if he touched that thing.

He looked so pissed, pawing the ground.... I thought he was coming!

(09-21-2012, 03:58 PM)username Wrote: Speaking of Calamari, I found this little gem which shall be called squism:


Woman Bites Into Calamari, Gets Mouthful of Squid Sperm
Neetzan Zimmerman

A South Korean woman was enjoying a plate of calamari when she suddenly felt a painful "pricking, foreign-body sensation" in her mouth. It was later revealed that twelve squid spermatophores had embedded themselves in her "tongue, cheek, and gums."

Squid A Day at Science 2.0 describes spermatophores as "cups of semen" that come complete with their own "ejaculatory apparatus" capable of releasing the speam with great force.

According to the Journal of Parasitology, the 63-year-old was consuming parboiled squid, which, unlike its American cousin, does not have its internal organs removed, leaving consumers vulnerable to sperm explosions.

Luckily, doctors were able to extract the spermatophores safely, so no need to fire up the Prometheus surgery machine just yet.

(09-21-2012, 04:21 PM)Jimbone Wrote: Yeah, I have this fantasy that when the geese walk into the fence they explode into a ball of feathers.

P.s. I know that I'm more corny than clever.

(09-21-2012, 05:59 PM)imsuchawildflower Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 03:58 PM)username Wrote: Speaking of Calamari, I found this little gem which shall be called squism:


Woman Bites Into Calamari, Gets Mouthful of Squid Sperm
Neetzan Zimmerman

A South Korean woman was enjoying a plate of calamari when she suddenly felt a painful "pricking, foreign-body sensation" in her mouth. It was later revealed that twelve squid spermatophores had embedded themselves in her "tongue, cheek, and gums."

Squid A Day at Science 2.0 describes spermatophores as "cups of semen" that come complete with their own "ejaculatory apparatus" capable of releasing the speam with great force.

According to the Journal of Parasitology, the 63-year-old was consuming parboiled squid, which, unlike its American cousin, does not have its internal organs removed, leaving consumers vulnerable to sperm explosions.

Luckily, doctors were able to extract the spermatophores safely, so no need to fire up the Prometheus surgery machine just yet.

Oh. My. God.

(09-21-2012, 07:34 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I bet the geese would be down with that.



P.s. I know that I'm more corny than clever.

(09-21-2012, 08:09 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 07:34 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I bet the geese would be down with that.



P.s. I know that I'm more corny than clever.

Don't put yourself down like that. Migrate over to the mirror and take a gander. You'll like what you see, and it'll be a feather in your cap. I won't even send you a bill for that advice. We should flock sometime!

Now THAT is corny.

(09-21-2012, 08:16 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Corny, but funny! Corny is mostly good, imo.

Thanks for fluffing me up; feeling ducky (stopping now, promise...).

(09-21-2012, 04:21 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 04:00 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 03:53 PM)Duchess Wrote:

Jim, did you buy a cow?

I remember being out at the farm a few years back, and the ONLY thing standing between a 1,000LB bull and me, was this thin little piece of wire.

Thank God he knew what'd happen if he touched that thing.

He looked so pissed, pawing the ground.... I thought he was coming!

Yeah, I have this fantasy that when the geese walk into the fence they explode into a ball of feathers.

(09-21-2012, 08:09 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 07:34 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I bet the geese would be down with that.



P.s. I know that I'm more corny than clever.

Don't put yourself down like that. Migrate over to the mirror and take a gander. You'll like what you see, and it'll be a feather in your cap. I won't even send you a bill for that advice. We should flock sometime!

Now THAT is corny.

(09-21-2012, 08:24 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 08:16 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Corny, but funny! Corny is mostly good, imo.

Thanks for fluffing me up; feeling ducky (stopping now, promise...).

Heh heh. She said fluffing.

I know, I know... that was fowl [sic].

(09-21-2012, 08:31 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: I seriously need to watch/read more porn; completely outta the loop with the lingo...

(09-21-2012, 08:28 PM)username Wrote: I'm sticking my neck out but I have to confess, most of this is flying right over my head. I'm not going to try to wing it either.

(09-21-2012, 08:26 PM)Carsman Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 04:21 PM)Jimbone Wrote: Yeah, I have this fantasy that when the geese walk into the fence they explode into a ball of feathers.

That would be considered "fence fried" dinner! (Now that's corny.)

(09-21-2012, 08:38 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(09-21-2012, 08:28 PM)username Wrote: I'm sticking my neck out but I have to confess, most of this is flying right over my head. I'm not going to try to wing it either.

Good gravy you're such a turkey. I mean really, I can't baste my time trying to broil this down for you.

(09-21-2012, 08:54 PM)username Wrote: You're just chicken!!

(09-21-2012, 09:14 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Ruffled feathers?

(It's impossible to stop...)