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The Twisted Jungle - Printable Version

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- Liquid - 03-05-2009

The Twisted Jungle

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.

The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit.

The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit. "Lion," they reprimand, "why⿿d you do that? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little fucker has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"


- Sinister - 03-05-2009

When I saw the title of the thread I immediately thought of Guns n Roses. Once I read it, I laughed my ass off!! Good one, Liquid.


- Borndragon - 03-05-2009

Funny shit!


Here's another:

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he⿿d like to eat. "I⿿ll have some fuckin⿿ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin⿿ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don⿿t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don⿿t want the fuckin⿿ French toast."