What really annoyed the hell out of you today?

[Cracker]

I scratched my armpit, then licked my finger to turn a few pages in this spec book.

Women don't do stuff like this. Because, because, just....ew.

I don't go to the library because I am convinced people have spew and boogers and poop on their fingers when they turn the pages. You have just reinforced that for me. I buy books on Amazon then donate them when I get too many. Or I read the classics online.

I have avoided getting a Kindle, but I think you just cinched it for me.

There, I talked about mucous, shit, and sperm. That should make the man in you happy.