01-31-2012, 12:36 AM
I never spanked my niece or nephew when raising them, but so many times I wanted to and sometimes wonder if I should have. My dad spanked us when we were bad and it hurt; it scared us and we avoided being bad out of fear (or learned to hide bad deeds at all costs). It wasn't good for building self esteem, but it was effective in keeping us out of major trouble into the teenage years and I don't think self-esteem was part of the parental units' vocabulary when we were growing up. As an adult, it mattered a lot to me that the children in my care did not feel fearful much of the time - worried that they might become fearful adults who just do what they are told without challenge.
They are in their early 20s now and definitely don't do as they are told without challenge. Independent thinkers and not afraid of much. But, they definitely lack self discipline and respect for others at times, though they are generally good funny people and I'm so proud of them. I could have been firmer and more effective with my words and other non-physical forms of discipline (time out, restriction, guilt...). Or, maybe a few spankings and a little fear when they really acted out would have benefitted them?
They are in their early 20s now and definitely don't do as they are told without challenge. Independent thinkers and not afraid of much. But, they definitely lack self discipline and respect for others at times, though they are generally good funny people and I'm so proud of them. I could have been firmer and more effective with my words and other non-physical forms of discipline (time out, restriction, guilt...). Or, maybe a few spankings and a little fear when they really acted out would have benefitted them?