08-13-2013, 10:23 AM
In the interest of peace in our time, and continuing the long tradition of my American ancestors of accepting British surrender, I submit that upon the apparent tap out of Cinnamon Nutmeg by crying uncle over the use of dead parents as weapons, this border skirmish is officially at an end. Under the terms of accepted surrender, the following peace accords will be in effect until and unless Cinnamon, hereafter referred to as the Vanquished, attempts to resume hostilities. Daisy Donovan, hereafter referred to as the Victor, will adhere to the following edicts as a gesture of goodwill and magnanimity.
1. All references to children of either party, sexual relations with same, efforts to corrupt, or status present or future, will hereby be ceased as part of the détente by both parties.
2. Any reference to eating, smoking, consuming, snorting and/or pooping chunks of assorted deceased relatives will end immediately as part of cessation of active hostilities by both parties.
3. Any reference to non member significant others will halt as part of peace accord, up to including any reference to weight, physical appearance and or status as a disease carrier of plague-like levels.
4. If at any time the Vanquished party fails to adhere to the provisos in this surrender and attempts to resume hostilities, all provisos will be declared null and void and the Victor will resume discussing plans to chop dead fathers into little gray lines, purchasing stripper poles and hooker come-fuck-me pumps for daddy's little girl, and comparing physical attributes of innocent wives to various automobile parts such as "tractor ass".
1. All references to children of either party, sexual relations with same, efforts to corrupt, or status present or future, will hereby be ceased as part of the détente by both parties.
2. Any reference to eating, smoking, consuming, snorting and/or pooping chunks of assorted deceased relatives will end immediately as part of cessation of active hostilities by both parties.
3. Any reference to non member significant others will halt as part of peace accord, up to including any reference to weight, physical appearance and or status as a disease carrier of plague-like levels.
4. If at any time the Vanquished party fails to adhere to the provisos in this surrender and attempts to resume hostilities, all provisos will be declared null and void and the Victor will resume discussing plans to chop dead fathers into little gray lines, purchasing stripper poles and hooker come-fuck-me pumps for daddy's little girl, and comparing physical attributes of innocent wives to various automobile parts such as "tractor ass".