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Pretty much every time I travel by plane now, I find a slip of paper in at least one piece of checked luggage that it was searched. I think they just want to fondle my under garments, assholes.

Wait, I thought you didn't wear underwear?

I make an exception for shorts, some workout pants and certain skirts and dresses. I've had a few Marilyn moments where wind has whipped a skirt up around my belly button.