Tales from the Frontline: Online Dating

[sally]

Getting back to dating, that leaves me and Sally.  My ego would need to be dressed in armoured plating.  Im sure her first sentence would be something like"  For fuck sake, look what the cat dragged in, have you been hit by artillery shells?, or have you been dead for six months and someone is moving your body with poles, im outta here"

Sob.

You're a fucking strange one, that's for sure. But I can get along with everyone. Since you like to evaluate everyone else, I would say take a look at yourself and lighten the fuck up. Smoke a joint, smoke a cigarette, drink a beer, drink a shot, eat some caviar, finger blast your partner, do goddamn something. You're going to be dead soon.