WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?

[Midwest Spy]

It's that old IBS rearing its ugly head again, right?

Lack of romanticism?

A story from 25 years ago when I was completely naive and didn't realize I should've offered the girl some cash after we were done?

Halitosis?

What???

I'm messing with you, MS.

I don't know if you're at the bottom of the collective Mock chain; no secret poll was taken.

I tell you when I think you're being a dweeb as we go along, so I can't tell you anything from my perspective that you haven't heard before.

Putting personality aside, just a guess when it comes to general physical desirability. Probably not a lot of women with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Halitosis at the top of their turn-on lists. BUT, there are fetishists for everything out there, somewhere...

HotD, you know I still think you're a hottie... in fact, to quote Robin Thicke from his hit 'Blurred Lines' (a video you should NEVER post here at Mock, because Aussie would believe you LOVE to degrade women), 'you're the hottest bitch in this place'.

My point being, I take all criticism from you, especially you, very seriously.

When you say that I'd be lucky to last 4 minutes with a woman, I say, do you know what kind of practice I needed to put in TO GET to 4 minutes?

However, I've never cried during sex. Not really understanding how that happens.

I'm not romantic (which has not served me very well during my two marriages). To be fair, I told my current wife that very early on in our dating.

I don't lose many arguments, but I will say I'm sorry when I'm wrong or have hurt someone.

A buddy of mine in the service had a friend who had a penis pump. Said his friend would work that baby day and night, and it actually worked. Who knew?

Anyway, I love you're candor, and even Zero's creative ways, so as Crash Davis once told Nuke Laloosh, 'Go ahead. Hit me in the chest with that.'