the 2022, trivial, boring, I really miss the old lady, boring drivel thread

[Duchess]

So there's this obese bear out in Lake Tahoe, they've named him Hank the tank. He hasn't hurt anyone, but he is breaking into homes all over the area and eating food. He's eating all the food he can get his fat, hairy paws on. He's quite clever too and has evaded capture so far. I'm worried about the bear, I'm afraid they are going to kill him because now he is exhibiting the one behavior wildlife officials hate the most, he has lost his fear of people.