the 2022, trivial, boring, I really miss the old lady, boring drivel thread

[Maggot]

Pop it with a pin, the infection not the period. wait...........just rub it with a corn cob either one. Only listen to me if you are on drugs.

[sally]

I'm bleeding to death and looking like fucking Quasimodo, but that should fix me right up. Now all I need is to get the fish meds and shit my brains out.

[BigMark]

I'm bleeding to death and looking like fucking Quasimodo, but that should fix me right up. Now all I need is to get the fish meds and shit my brains out.

I suggest you stay out of a pepper factory, or shark tank.

[sally]

Fort lauderdale Beach be crazy. My daughter got a good look at a buff black guy in a bikini with breast implants.

[BigMark]

Sounds like it would be legal for it to be topless.

[Duchess]

City slickers should probably stay in the city. I no longer feel welcoming towards them. Go away.

[MirahM]

srsly!

[Duchess]

srsly!

You know what they are complaining about now? Snakes. They are coming out of hibernation and sunning themselves and some home owners are losing their shit, 9 out of 10 of them are looking for someone to come and kill it. I'm talking about grass snakes & your basic black snake, not water moccasins. Their solution to every damn thing they are uncomfortable with is to kill it. Every. Friggin. Time. It really annoys the shit out of me.

[MirahM]

FUcking Assholes.

[sally]

I just leave the snakes be, but I've never come across a poisonous one. I'm not sure what you do in that case. I've heard that it's best to kill them quickly and humanely before they kill a pet or a human, but I don't think I could do it. I'd just hope it goes on its merry way. I know we have some big rattlesnakes here, but I've never seen one in my 46 years.

[Duchess]

FUcking Assholes.

I live in the southern part of my very small state, it's rural and mostly agriculture-- produce farms, dairy farms, horse farms, etc. and a lot of people have been moving here for the ambience of the countryside. The police received a terrified phone call from someone saying there was an active shooter at a quiet country school. There was a massive police response including the swat team, after investigating it was determined that the gun shots the caller heard were from the opening day of hunting season and the sound had traveled very well across the open fields. Oy.

[sally]

I saw a dog with a yarmulke on. He (I would assume it's a he) looked like a medium sized mixed breed lab. We have a large Jewish community here and I saw the guy walking him. He definitely had a yarmulke on. I dont know and I wasn't going to stop and ask.

[MirahM]

LOL @ Duchess story

And Sally's! That is strange!

[Duchess]

It's Derby day, kids. ZoomZoom!

[Duchess]

My desktop thermometer reads 666. That hadn't better indicate how my day is going to go.

[Maggot]

What kind of idiot runs over a freakin toddler with a lawn mower? You have to be a special numbnuts to do that. Does he just run over branches and rocks and how does a kid even fit under a lawn mower. WTF.

[Duchess]

OMG!

[sally]

Did that just happen recently? I remember reading about some guy running his kid over with a lawn mower a couple of years ago and thinking to myself how the fuck does that happen.

[Duchess]

I want to know, but I don't want to know.

[Maggot]

The blades are 1/2" above the ground,  how does a kid even get under that? Somethings not right with this story.