West Virginia IS NOT a Southern State

[Lady Cop]

This story, involving streaking, NASCAR, and a raccoon, may be about the most redneck thing you may ever read. All that’s missing is some Pabst Blue Ribbon and a prize-winning mullet.

Pictured here with a quizzical look on his face is Joshua Greene, a 27-year-old West Virginian man, who was arrested for streaking through a busy parking lot just off Route 394 in Bristol, Tennessee. The lot was packed because of it’s proximity to the Bristol Motor Speedway, which was hosting the Irwin Tools Night Race this past Saturday night.

But wait, there’s more.

After cops caught Greene in a nearby neighborhood, still clad in his birthday suit, they were able to track down his car, which contained a female companion…and a wild raccoon.

Yee-friggin-haw.

From WBIR…

“I’m walking up through here and here he comes, back up and stops in front of the band waving and spinning in circles and stuff,” explained Tim Lee, a witness.

Police were able to chase Greene and caught up with him in a nearby neighborhood. As police charged him, they discovered a wild animal in his car. “With that we also [found that] he and a companion were in possession of a raccoon,” said Matt Austin, Bristol, Tenn. police.

Police called in Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency to help with the furry situation. “They said his girlfriend rescued it from a park, but as far as where it actually came from, we couldn’t really say for sure,” Austin said.

For his naked romp, and questionable raccoon keeping practices, Greene is facing charges of public intoxication, indecent exposure, and some additional charges placed by the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency.

[Duchess]

He has the WTF look on his face.

[Midwest Spy]

I'll never forget a West Virginian named Okey Ooten (can't make that name up) that I went to basic training with. Missing teeth, talked like Gomer Pyle and, to me, was the epitome of 'who' a West Virginian would always be.

[HairOfTheDog]

[Cracker]

If you have never been to Thunder Valley in Bristol, TN you are missing out. Awesomeness. Maybe not awesome enough to rip off all your clothes, but damn near.

[Lady Cop]

i just found these very interesting photos on CNN. 16 of them at link. slideshow, hover over pics in upper right corner to advance them.

Photos: Life in Appalachia:

http://cnnphotos.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/0...?hpt=hp_c2

[Lady Cop]

fascinating Appalachian lore:

link to more
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...women.html

Ancient Appalachian people who boasted of Portuguese ancestry to avoid slavery were actually descended from African men and white women

[Cracker]

At least they got the good hair.

Isn't Dick a Portagee?

[Lady Cop]

West Virginia State Police announced on Saturday that they had discovered four bodies in a wooded area believed to be those of a missing man, his girlfriend and his two young children.
Mr Hendrix, 38, his 23-year-old girlfriend Amber Martin, and his two young children, six-year-old Dakota and four-year-old Kaylee, had vanished on May 19.
Michael Baylous, of the West Virginia State Police, would not comment on the nature of the killing, but said that troopers with children of their own were disturbed by the scene.

Following the discovery, police have launched a manhunt for 26-year-old James Roy Belknap, of Leivasy, Nicholas County, who has been identified as a suspect.

He was last seen driving a white Ford F-150 or a Chevrolet Monte Carlo.

murder victims





wanted

[Ma Huang Sor]

Sounds like Amber had another boyfriend.

[Lady Cop]

dead asshole.



THE WASHINGTON POST

Mack Wolford, a flamboyant Pentecostal pastor from West Virginia whose serpent-handling talents were profiled last November in The Washington Post Magazine , hoped the outdoor service he had planned for Sunday at an isolated state park would be a “homecoming like the old days,” full of folks speaking in tongues, handling snakes and having a “great time.” But it was not the sort of homecoming he foresaw.

Instead, Wolford, who turned 44 the previous day, was bitten by a rattlesnake he owned for years. He died late Sunday.

Mark Randall “Mack” Wolford was known all over Appalachia as a daring man of conviction. He believed that the Bible mandates that Christians handle serpents to test their faith in God — and that, if they are bitten, they trust in God alone to heal them.

He and other adherents cited Mark 16:17-18 as the reason for their practice: “And these signs will follow those who believe: in My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

The son of a serpent handler who himself died in 1983 after being bitten, Wolford was trying to keep the practice alive, both in West Virginia, where it is legal, and in neighboring states where it is not. He was the kind of man reporters love: articulate, friendly and appreciative of media attention. Many serpent-handling Pentecostals retreat from journalists, but Wolford didn’t. He’d take them on snake-hunting expeditions.

Last Sunday started as a festive outdoor service on a sunny afternoon at Panther Wildlife Management Area, a state park roughly 80 miles west of Bluefield, W.Va. In the preceding days, Wolford had posted several teasers on his Facebook page asking people to attend.

“I am looking for a great time this Sunday,” he wrote May 22. “It is going to be a homecoming like the old days. Good ’ole raised in the holler or mountain ridge running, Holy Ghost-filled speaking-in-tongues sign believers.”

“Praise the Lord and pass the rattlesnakes, brother” he wrote on May 23. He also invited his extended family, who had largely given up the practice of serpent handling, to come to the park.

“At one time or another, we had handled [snakes], but we had backslid,” his sister, Robin Vanover, said Monday evening. “His birthday was Saturday, and all he wanted to do is get his brothers and sisters in church together.”

And so they were gathered at this evangelistic hootenanny of Christian praise and worship. About 30 minutes into the service, his sister said, Wolford passed a yellow timber rattlesnake to a church member and his mother.

“He laid it on the ground,” she said, “and he sat down next to the snake, and it bit him on the thigh.”

A state forester, who was not authorized to speak on the record, said park officials were unaware of Wolford’s activities. “Had we known he had poisonous animals, we would have never allowed it,” he said.

The festivities came to a halt shortly thereafter, and Wolford was taken back to a relative’s house in Bluefield to recover, as he always had when suffering from previous snake bites. By late afternoon, it was clear that this time was different, and desperate messages began flying about on Facebook, asking for prayer.

Wolford got progressively worse. Paramedics transported him to Bluefield Regional Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead. It could not be determined when the paramedics were called.

Wolford was 15 when he saw his father die at age 39 of a rattlesnake bite in almost exactly the same circumstances.

“He lived 101 / 2 hours,” Wolford told The Washington Post last fall. “When he got bit, he said he wanted to die in the church. Three hours after he was bitten, his kidneys shut down. After a while, your heart stops. I hated to see him go, but he died for what he believed in.”

According to people who witnessed Mack Wolford’s death, history repeated itself. He was bitten roughly at 1:30 p.m.; he died about 11 that night.

One of the people present was Lauren Pond, 26, a freelance photographer from the District. She had been photographing serpent handlers in the area for more than a year, including for The Post, and stayed at Wolford’s home in November.

“He helped me to understand the faith instead of just documenting it,” she said Tuesday. “He was one of the most open pastors I’ve ever met. He was a friend and a teacher.”

The family allowed her to stay near Wolford’s side Sunday night, and she’s still recovering from having witnessed the pastor’s agonizing death. “I didn’t see the bite,” she said. “I saw the aftermath.”

In an interview with The Post for last year’s story, Jim Murphy, curator of the Reptile Discovery Center at the National Zoo, described what happens when a rattlesnake bites.

The pain is “excruciating,” he said. “The venom attacks the nervous system. It’s vicious and gruesome when it hits.”

But Wolford refused to fear the creatures. He slung poisonous snakes around his neck, danced with them, even laid down on or near them. He displayed spots on his right hand where copperheads had sunk their fangs. His home in Bluefield had a spare bedroom filled with at least eight venomous snakes: usually rattlers, water moccasins and copperheads that he fed rats and mice. He was passionate about wanting to help churches in nearby states — including North Carolina and Tennessee, where the practice is illegal — start up their own serpent-handling services.

“I promised the Lord I’d do everything in my power to keep the faith going,” he said in October. “I spend a lot of time going a lot of places that handle serpents to keep them motivated. I’m trying to get anybody I can get involved.”

His funeral will be held Saturday at his church, House of the Lord Jesus, in Matoaka, just north of Bluefield.



snake preacher pics:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...SNAKE.html

[Ma Huang Sor]

awesome! One less frothing redneck to poison peoples minds.

[crash]

Darwin's theory at work, right there...

[Lady Cop]

OK it's not West Va. it's Kentucky. close enough.

he got married in his jail uniform.
the parents had to be beaming with pride and joy.
imagine putting this in the paper??
you just can't make this shit up. i bet he was wearing shackles!

madisoncourier KY

Tasha Nicole Maddox and Joshua William Torrance, both of Madison, exchanged vows Tuesday, June 5, 2012 at the Jefferson County Courthouse. Judge Ted Todd presided.

The bride is the daughter of Louis Aaron Maddox and Candie Maddox, both of Madison. She attended Madison Consolidated High School and earned a GED.

The groom is the son of Bill Torrance and Karen Tingle, both of Madison. He attended Madison Consolidated High School and earned a GED.

The bride was escorted by her father. Ashlie Sykes served as bridesmaid. The best man was the father of the groom. The mother of the groom served as ring bearer.

The couple will celebrate their vows with a wedding trip to Gatlinburg, Tenn. at a later date...yeah, 5 to 7! hahahahaha

[Duchess]

Their parents are dumb fuckers too for sanctioning such a thing.

When I see this kind of thing I can't help but feel their parents are enabling stupidity.

[ramseycat]

Why not leave out the part about the GED? That is just announcing to the world that you are a fuck up. I mean in addition to the orange jumpsuit and the jail wedding.

[username]

OK it's not West Va. it's Kentucky. close enough.

he got married in his jail uniform.
the parents had to be beaming with pride and joy.
imagine putting this in the paper??
you just can't make this shit up. i bet he was wearing shackles!

madisoncourier KY

Tasha Nicole Maddox and Joshua William Torrance, both of Madison, exchanged vows Tuesday, June 5, 2012 at the Jefferson County Courthouse. Judge Ted Todd presided.

The bride is the daughter of Louis Aaron Maddox and Candie Maddox, both of Madison. She attended Madison Consolidated High School and earned a GED.

The groom is the son of Bill Torrance and Karen Tingle, both of Madison. He attended Madison Consolidated High School and earned a GED.

The bride was escorted by her father. Ashlie Sykes served as bridesmaid. The best man was the father of the groom. The mother of the groom served as ring bearer.

The couple will celebrate their vows with a wedding trip to Gatlinburg, Tenn. at a later date...yeah, 5 to 7! hahahahaha

LuciferLynn? Is that you?

[Riotgear]

Obviously you people hate love.

Tack and shirt.

[Duchess]

Those hicks are going to breed the first chance they get.

[Riotgear]

And most likely using the bio-success technique favored by the latinos. Throw five kids at the problem and hope one lives.

Glasses and keys.